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Institute for Robert Downey Jr Studies > Required Reading

Single White Males (Excerpt)

New Republic, 7 September 1992, by Michael Lewis

This is an excerpt from an article about the author’s experience at the 1992 Republican national convention, including a filming session for The Last Party.

At the back of the ranch, the leaders of the College Republicans gather in a small tent to participate in the taping of a documentary on American politics. The event turns out to be an unwitting documentary on the implosion of Reagan-Bush Republicanism. Not that the producers of the show had anything so sophisticated in mind. The event is hosted by Robert Downey Jr., an actor famous for portraying alienated yuppie drug dealers. When he arrives at the ranch he is instantly surrounded by a peristaltic mass of adoring College Republicans. Now he sits on one side of a long picnic table facing the two sign painters from Arkansas, one of the Virginia beauties, and Charismatic Leader Bill Spadea. Looking over them on higher benches, like hundreds of Mannerist angels, are row upon row of perfectly worshipful young Republicans.

“We believe in the values of the family,” Spadea is saying. “But Congress has continually fought these values ...” The crowd starts to chant: “Bill For President! Bill For President!.” Bill is clearly enjoying this proximity to celebrity.

Downey asks if “the so-called cultural elite” are to blame for the decline in Spadea’s family values. “Well,” says Spadea, gamely, “a lot of what they say on TV has no value base ... And the American people are sick of it.”

Another great cheer goes up, and Downey fidgets. If George Bush has so many values, he asks, how come he’s been involved with drug peddlers in covert operations?

“That’s just hearsay. You’re talking basically a lot of media people ... a lot of hearsay.”

The microphone swings to a pallid, thin woman. “I find there is a great hypocrisy within the cultural elite. In the ‘60s they were demonstrating for free speech. Now this very same cultural elite are the tenured radicals trying to curtail free speech. There’s an extremely liberal bias in everything from TV to the professors.”

The crowd bays for blood.

“To me PC and liberalism is worse than McCarthyism ever was.”

The crowd stomps on the picnic benches. Veins bulge on the sides of necks. People in the crowd begin to taunt Downey directly.

“You see, the liberal press didn’t like to hear that!”

“We don’t trust your corporation!”

The crowd pushes toward the table. The director of the film jumps in. “There is no corporate involvement in our film ...” he begins.

“It’s nice to think that!” shouts a young man looking much like a future partner in Sherman & Sterling.

“This isn’t MTV sponsored,” shouts the director.

A bench full of people collapses in the rear and bodies fall everywhere, but hardly anyone notices.

“All we see on MTV are liberals!” shouts the mob.

“We asked Bush ...” starts the director. But he’s made a tactical error; he’s now MTV again, and the crowd shouts him down. Downey is back. “Are there any pro-choice Republicans in the audience?” he asks.

“No!”

But it’s too late. A woman grabs the microphone, provoking a full-scale panic.

“The true conservative view is economic not religious,” she begins.

“George, stop her!” a voice wails.

“Shit,” says George, standing beside me.

“Who picked her?” someone whispers.

“She’s someone from New York,” comes the reply.

“What’s her name?” asks another. “Get her name.”

And then comes the most startling voice in a three-state area; it booms with the authority of Yahweh speaking to Charlton Heston:

USE YOUR HEAD, NOT YOUR PENIS!

I turn. Downey turns. Everyone turns. And there stands Fred. He’s not happy. Downey may not like the point of view, but he knows good television when he sees it. Out he comes, seizes Fred by the arm, and pulls him center stage. He wants a sound bite; Fred, of course, gives him something more closely resembling a full meal.

I THINK THE PROBLEM HERE IN AMERICA IS THAT TOO MANY PEOPLE ARE TALKING ABOUT CHOICE. WOMEN’S CHOICE. WHAT ABOUT THE WOMEN WHO ARE STARTING OUT IN THE WOMB. WHAT ABOUT THE CHILDREN STARTING OUT IN THE WOMB. WHAT ABOUT THE BABY IN THE WOMB?

The crowd goes completely ape, and Fred wants to go on, but Downey, seeming ever so slightly possessive, has taken back his microphone. The crowd responds with another attack.

“He didn’t like it!”

“Down with the corporation!”

It’s delicious: they’ve forgotten, if only for a moment, that they are the ones who are supposed to be for the corporation.

In the end the noise was too much. The film crew just gave up. The lights went off and the camera people together with Robert Downey Jr. moved to find a more peaceful place to ply their trade. As I made my own way to the exit, I couldn’t help but notice a young couple off near some bushes, working hard to undermine College Republican morality.